Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Your Anger. Unless You Are So Crazy That You Must.

I'm veering dangerously close into personal territory here.   Gordon doesn't love it when I make reference to or divulge specifics about our relationship.  But I'm really talking more about myself, more than our relationship so much.

So anyway.  With that caveat in mind, I wish to discuss the concept of anger and sunsets.  Should one actually let the sun go down upon one's anger?  Or is it best to hash it all out and go to bed only when you have come to some type of conclusion?  

Recently, I read a little story about the traits of the strongest marriages.  One of them said that their marriage had survived almost 30 years due in part to the fact that they never went to bed angry with each other. I can't figure out how I feel about this.  It seems like a nice concept, but I have a hard time believing that those couples have never had a big enough issue that it lasts for a period of more than 12-14 hours. 

I can say this.  I am a highly emotional individual.  My initial reaction to almost anything is usually a frenzy of feelings, an emotional tidal wave, if you will.  It sometimes frightens me, the force of my reactions.  I sometimes feel the need to throw myself to the ground, wail and scream and yell and cry.  This is a problem.  It's a problem because this kind of reaction often solicits a not-so-productive reaction from the person on the other side of the wave.  Happily, the feelings ebb and I do return to a state of relative logic and reason.  But it can sometimes take a little while.  However, for the person who likes to deal with an issue immediately and move on, by the time I've come around to sanity, they have moved on, but without a solution.  

I acknowledge that this is not a healthy response.  There is a very strong possibility that I make things worse by flying off the handle in an awe-inspiring fashion.  How much of this is just innate, and how much can I change?  Is this an aspect of myself that I can change, or is it just part and parcel of who I am, a downside of my personality type?  Predictably, probably a little bit of both. 

Anyway.  What I'm looking for is your opinion.  What works for you?