Has Hell Frozen Over???

I've not checked the forecast in Hell for a few days, but I do believe it has actually frozen over down there. Really and truly.

Behold. I don't like coffee anymore. I really don't. Actually, it induces small episodes of vomit for me. Gordon calls it a Divine Intervention, I call it flying pigs or, as mentioned above, Frozen Hell.

Last week, I was sick. I'd been traveling all week and had approximately NO sleep for a couple of days. Those eternal days in Alaska where the sun doesn't ever actually set really threw my body for a loop. What naturally followed this period of sleeplessness was sickness. And prolonged episodes of unfounded and truly awe-inspiring episodes of WRETCHED BEHAVIOR. Point in case....one morning (around 8 a.m.), I was awoken by the water running in the sprinkler pipes. I was so enraged by this rude awakening that I cried. Cried right through my shower and well into the drying off period.

Anyway. Once again. I digress. So during my sickness, food just had no appeal for me. Everything I ate during that time became associated with nausea and grossness (and crying). I've had to dash those foods from my repertoire. This includes Kraft Mac-N-Cheese (I'll get over this one), fruit salad and coffee. So for over a week now, I've been avoiding these items and doing completely fine without them. I got through the caffeine withdrawals with barely a thought, and have been going about my merry way. And I've even been a little proud of my defiance of physical addiction.

This morning, though, I was missing my old friend, the warm, soothing friend that delivers an electrifying jolt of hyper-productivity. I swear, I would have been fired from my job eighteen times by now if it weren't for my old Crutch.

So I decided to brew myself a little cup, just to dip my toes in the pool. I brewed it just the way I liked it, added my sugar and a little whole milk and took a tentative sip, expecting euphoria to wash over me.

AND WHAT DO MY SLEEPY TASTEBUDS DISCOVER BUT A SUDDEN URGE TO VOMIT. Again. What in the blue hell is going on. It tasted terrible and made me sick (as you may have already gathered.)

How weird is that. I hardly know what to do with myself. I hardly know myself at all. Who is this girl? I don't know, people. I just don't know. I don't know if I want to live in a world where there is no coffee.