Rest in Peace, Fair Hero

Once upon a time, there was a dog named Fair Hero. Hero had many wonderful qualities. She was sweet and loving and loyal. Hero also had a few naughty qualities, as well. Actually, in the spirit of full disclosure, Hero had MANY naughty qualities.

One of the more notable ones was that she had an absolute obsession with human food. It was a problem since her puppy-hood. On her very first night as a Willard, she seemed a little droopy. We fed her some mandarin oranges and WHAMMY! She went into high puppy gear and went crazy. Ever after, human food was Hero’s Achilles heel. She would stop at nothing to get her fix, which usually meant jumping up on the kitchen counter and stealing whatever was in reach of her teeth.


A brief list of her favorite items:


1. Butter. She would steal entire boxes of butter at a time, and eat it all….wrappers and all.


2. Bread. Hero may very well have been a carb addict.  A loaf of bread rarely lasted a full day in the house. 


3. Chocolate, particularly Ferrero Rocher candies.


4. Nuts. Once, she ate about six loaves of banana bread that contained Macadamia nuts. The nuts had a terrible effect on her, she was literally paralyzed for an entire day after that episode. Note to dog owners: Macadamia nuts are poisonous to dogs. Unless you are Hero, in which case it just causes temporary paralysis.

5. Thyroid pills. Hero was well known amongst visitors to the Willard house for stealing things out of peoples’ purses or suitcases. Including 60 days worth of thyroid medicine.

6. Ricotta cheese. When she was just a tiny baby dog, Mom was making lasagna and left the room for a minute. Hero jumped on the counter, knocked the bowl off and proceded to eat all of the cheese.

My favorite story of all, though, is the time Hero got drunk. My mom had a rotten pineapple that had gotten way beyond ripe. It fizzled on your tongue if you licked it. She threw it out on the compost pile, amongst all the rest of the green waste. Naturally, Hero found and ate the entire thing, and she was the happiest drunk you ever met in your life. She raced around the house, raced around the yard, played with the other dogs and just couldn’t hold herself still.


The next day, she was clearly feeling “under the weather”. She slept for most of the day, and glared at anyone who made too much noise or mentioned the word “pina colada”.

So this is for my big sister dog Hero. I’m pouring out a pina colada for my Homie.