Counting My Chickens Before They Hatch

Against my better judgment, I counted my chickens before they hatched this week. Actually, I did more than count them. I counted them, hatched them and named them. I got completely attached to those chickens well before they hatched. Risky business.


As you may have guessed, these chickens are actually an analogy. (Literal chickens are totally out of the question in my life. At least for now. ) The chickens are an analogy for dollars. A lot of dollars. Way more dollars than I currently earn. The chickens are an analogy for a new job that equals a lot more dollars, to be more specific.


So a little over a week ago, Gordon O'Neil was browsing through the Sunday paper, perusing the Help Wanted section. He said "Now here is a job that you are qualified for, and the salary is a lot better!" On a whim, I emailed my resume and promptly forgot all about it.


A few days later, a very nice lady called to schedule an interview. Surprised, I went to the interview and gave a mostly mediocre performance, slightly ambivalent about the whole idea. Granted, the increase in salary sounded nice, but frankly, the idea of switching jobs is/was abhorrent to me. But then the lady said "With your degree, you actually qualify nicely for the HR Director position. It does involve a considerably higher salary than the position you applied for. Are you interested?"


"Uh, no. Not really. I don't really like money and I try to keep my pursuits elevated to things greater than man."


Of course not. My eyes lit up like Golem in "The Lord of The Rings" when he sees His Precious. I love money. Money runs my world. So I made the quick decision to step it up a notch and impress her.


Apparently, it worked out okay because they asked me back for a second interview. And this time, I was very nervous. I spent hours writing little essays in response to the toughest and most common interview questions. And when I arrived, all of my meticulous preparations flew out of my head and I was left with randomness.

Somehow, though, randomness was the winning combination because the lady called a few days later (at 8 o'clock at night...several hours after the stated deadline AND after I had officially passed into the Period Of Darkest Despair at the REJECTION) and offered me the job.

I held myself back from weeping for joy and promising to shower her with gifts and baked goods (which my husband will make) every day for the first six months of my employment. I think I did pretty well, coming across all professional and like I had totally forgotten THAT SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL WITH HER DECISION SEVERAL HOURS AGO. Gosh. What a pleasant surprise. Sure. I guess I'll take it.

So some good parts about the new job include a considerable raise, a position in a field that I can actually make a CAREER out of, a big challenge, an office, and some other stuff.

Some bad parts include the fact that I have to go to Blanding, Utah for two weeks. And my husband won't be there. And I doubt they have a cat-friendly hotel there, so that rules out the possibility of taking Barclay My Most Precious with me. Boo. Also, there is the interminable four days left at my old job. I loved my job, I really did. But now, I just want to be done. You can just call me Lame Duck.

So anyway. There is the good news. 2010 is already looking bright!