Naturally, our first subject will be Barclay O'Neil. (He is, after all, my favorite and most precious kitty.)
AKA: Bark, Bizzle, Bizz, Bizz the Dumbass, Mama's Most Precious
Special Characteristics: various (as yet undiagnosed) disorders, but the case is strong for feline autism, possible deafness, a complete lack of coordination, and generally a total lack of the sense the good Lord gave a gnat. He also seems to have a keen sense of cleanliness because he spends at least 45 minutes a day scratching around in the cat box. He is also a pyromaniac. He never has a full set of whiskers because he singes them off by trying to smell candles. Recently, however, he actually started his tail on fire by wagging it over a candle when he was standing on the dresser. Naturally, he had no idea of the danger and looked at Gordon like he was a lunatic when he pounced on him to extinguish his tail. Finally, he has some sort of hyperactivity disorder whereby he randomly becomes possessed by Satan and runs around the house as though the Gates of Hades were at his heels.
When Bizz first came to live with us, he was so totally mentally challenged that he wouldn't let anyone pet him. He would never purr. All he wanted to do was dash around the house and antagonize the other feline residents. He didn't get off to such a great start with them. Even now...four years later, they only grudgingly put up with him. They still think he's weird, but his cleanliness does pay off occasionally. He's always good for a spit bath.
These days, he's made leaps and bounds in his mental development. Now he's the most affectionate (some would say OVERLY affectionate) cat in the Universe. Actually, most people would say overly affectionate. He's a total pain in the ass most of the time. He has no problem at all in headbutting you until you let him snuggle with you under the covers.
So there you have it. An introduction to the first of eight O'Neils. Now we can all start being bosom buddies.
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