About My Relationship With Bad Words

Today seems like a good day to talk to you about my penchant for bad words. I have a funny relationship with curse words. On the one hand, I was raised in a household where swearing was not allowed. But on the other hand, you just can't beat the feeling of naughty satisfaction when you think a really awful word. It gives you such a feeling of badness!

Growing up, on the rare occasion when someone (Dad) would say a "bad word", it was always explained that there are some words that are only for "grown-ups" to use, and only in situations where the effect was appropriate. There were a few occasions when we thought that a situation warranted the use of profanity, but our judgment always turned out to be erroneous...for instance, there was the time when one of us decided that it was appropriate to call someone a "butt head". ("Butt" counted as a "bad word" in those days.) My mother's response was to tell us that if she heard that word come out of our mouths again, she would draw a line down the middle of our faces and make us understand, first hand, what it feels like to be a "butt head". Enough said. We only used that word out of her earshot from there on out.

Around the time that we all grew up and started being adults, profanity became a regular occurrence in my parents house, but always as a fun way to shock my mom. Sometimes she pretends to be shocked, which is the most fun. Other times, she just pretends that she doesn't hear us. But we know that she does hear us because once in a blue moon, we catch her swearing too! I feel a sense of triumph every time I hear my mom say "Shit!" And it was a red letter day when she used the word "bitch" during a fit of road rage one day. My siblings and I look back at that day with great fondness. (Note to Mom: I'm sorry to rat you out, but for the sake of quality journalism, the truth must be told.)

So how I turned out to be a sailor-mouthed cusser (in my mind) is completely beyond me. Now don't get me wrong...I rarely say bad words out loud, especially around individuals who are unfamiliar with my secret love of shocking words. And when I hear other people using such words in excess, I tend to feel slightly uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain it, I really don't. But I just love to use terrible words, even if it's only in my own internal dialogue. It is just so satisfying. Sometimes I will randomly drop the "F bomb" into my thoughts and it gives me such a thrill. Of course, it's a dirty disgusting word, but it somehow gives me such a feeling of power! I try to avoid using God-related words, but I don't restrict myself from using the initials "GD" on a regular basis. For instance, I might say "Please pass me the ketchup", when what I really think is "Please pass me the GD ketchup".

Maybe I like the shock that bad words impart...I even shock myself when I THINK those bad words. Maybe it makes me feel a little bit powerful that such a small girl can use such terrible words. Whatever it is, that shockingly powerful badness is addicting. GD it. HA!