Things That Must Go.

My favorite morning show on the radio does this bit occasionally, and I find it completely inspiring. Cleansing. Relieving. I've been collecting these for months, it's high-time that I set them free to cyber-land where they can irritate others as well.

Things That Must Go...Categorized For Your Convenience:

Matters of Grammar and Punctuation:

• The improper and superfluous use of quotation marks. One egregious example: “Our swimsuits are clean and ‘sanitized’”. It would appear that the swimsuits are not actually sanitized, but faux-sanitized. Look it up, people.
• The excessive use of exclamation points!!!!!

Items Related To Vehicles:

• Calvin peeing on anything. Enough already. Calvin is peed out.
• Bumper stickers with cute/stupid/smartass remarks. It’s only funny the first time, friends. Every time thereafter, it’s played out.
• Pairs of testicles hanging from various parts of your truck. Absolutely not.
• While this relates to item 2, it really bears it’s very own bullet…the bumper sticker that says “Show Me Your Hooters.” I really don’t think any more needs to be said.

Miscellaneous Irritants:

• The expression “Git ‘Er Done.”
• Medication ads in my email. When have I ever indicated that I had a problem with the size or quality of any piece of my anatomy?
• Individuals who sniffle during quiet times, such as an exam. A nose in need needs Puffs indeed. And a fragile mind also needs Puffs indeed, before she nails you in the eyeball with a pencil.
• The smell of random food around the office. I’m sure it’s all delicious, but for some reason, I just cannot stomach the smell of other people’s food. And yet, I commit these sin on a regular basis. See, I even annoy myself on occasion.
• People who borrow pens and either do not return them or press too hard on the ink tip, causing the fine point to be mashed and completely ruining my writing experience.
• FriChik.
• Animals that lack fur and have the ability to leap unexpectedly, for instance frogs and grasshoppers.
• People who refuse to see that the grocery store aisle operates under the same principle as the freeway. Slow traffic to the right, please. We’re not all interested in examining the contents of the spaghetti sauce.

Dear readers, I feel cleansed. Though I do note that my blogs have become a tad negative. Perhaps next week I'll blog about Things That Must Stay. Stay tuned.