Holy Hannah. Has It Been This Long??

I didn't realize how much I missed blogging and how therapeutic it can be.  My thoughts have been churning for days now and in an attempt to pull my head together, I started writing.  I love that feeling...it's like running a comb through tangled hair.  It feels so much better to work through things and put those thoughts back in their place.  Fair warning:  this blog continues to be my outlet, as it always has, so I'm pretty honest and revealing in my musings.  In most ways, this blog is my diary so be prepared to hear my real life thoughts and feelings.

In my old age, I'm compiling an eclectic list of  Life Lessons.  I mean, I'm approximately 1/3 of the way through life, so I should probably have something to show for it.  As you know, I don't have a kid to impart this wisdom to, so I'm forced to tailor my wisdom to the only female whose life I currently mold, my black lab Lucille O'Neil.  So Lala, here is Mama's advice to you for life in the Big World:

1.  No one is ever going to be everything you want them to be, do everything you want them to do, or act exactly the way you want them to act.  Stop trying to make them do so.  They will do what they will do.  So just let them.  Fact of the matter is, it’s your own mental health that you are sacrificing when you try.   
2. Keep loving with your entire being.  While it’s true that not everyone will adore you back, the ones who love you back with their entire beings are the ones who will stick around.  The ones who don’t will eventually filter themselves out of your life, if you let them.  By the way, LET THEM.  So keep begging for pets, keep jumping on the bed to snuggle when you aren’t really supposed to.  It sometimes makes me mad, but in the end, it’s hard to be mad at you when you are just loving your people.
3.  Nobody is ever going to care as much as you do.  They care about their own stuff.  You care about yours.  You’ll never care about their stuff as much as they do.  They’ll never care about your stuff as much as you do.  This isn’t a bad thing.  This just human nature.  You don’t have to be happy about it or like it, but you should probably accept it.  Because again, it’s your own mental health that you are sacrificing when you try.
4. Pink really is your best color, it looks so bright and vivid against your fur.  Keep that in mind in case anyone else ever buys your collars for you. 
5. Guilt is a terrible, ugly, destructive thing.  Excise it from your thoughts on a moment-by-moment basis.  That isn’t to say that you should excise your conscience.  Do your best to be the best person you can.  When you fall short, apologize and do better.  But don’t allow yourself to dwell.  Make it right the best you can and move on.  That is all. 
6. Never, ever allow anyone to control you by exploiting your guilt.  Note the verb there.  ALLOW.  No one can make you feel anything.  You choose your feelings on your own.  So don’t allow it. 
7. Keep being able to run faster than Sam and catch squirrels better than he can.  You’re strong and fast and the neighborhood’s best hunter.  Sam has his own talents, but he can’t hold a candle to you in these departments.  It’s good for him to realize that on occasion. 
8. Buy all of the collars in all of the different styles that you want and can afford (if you ever figure out how to shop online).  Under no circumstances should you jeopardize your financial well-being by spending money (see below), but if you can safely afford to buy the collar with the sparkles on it, but the GD collar.  Every woman deserves the little bump in confidence that comes from wearing something that she loves. 
9. This point should really come before point #8, but it’s not as fun so it didn’t spring to mind.  Get your financial ducks in a row.  The best bump in confidence of all comes from the feeling of being smart and responsible and being 100% capable of taking care of yourself.  That kind of confidence is better than all the collars that money can buy. 
10. Get to know yourself.  Be honest with yourself.  That way, you’ll be able to make the right decisions about what you want and what makes you happy.  Make those decisions and stick by them and tell the doubters and questioners that their two options are to get On-board or get Off-board.  You can’t halfway ride the train.
11. Feel free to change your mind.  Item #10 is totally true.  Make your decisions and stick with them.  But this life is full of twists and turns and you have every GD right in the world to change your mind when the road changes directions.  You are the Supreme Ruler of Your Life, be the dictator. 
12. Don’t abuse your right to be a bitch.  Yes, you are biologically a bitch.  But it’s also your right to ACT like a bitch: be blunt and honest and unafraid.  But the point is, don’t abuse the right.  It’s much less effective if you over-use it.  So pick your battles.  And when you decide it’s appropriate, do it with gusto. 
13.  Make it your mission to act with fairness.  If that means that you need time to evaluate your opinion or your next move, take the time that you need.  Think carefully.  A reputation for fairness is worth far more than a reputation for being nice, for being aggressive or for being decisive. 
14. Above all else, do not ever, ever, ever betray yourself by failing to stand up and say what you need.  You will wait a long, long, long time if you stand around waiting for someone else to read your mind and give you what you need.  And chances are, they’ll get it wrong anyway because they do not reside in your mind.  So advocate for yourself and speak up.    
15. And finally, Lollipop, never, ever get in the habit of blogging while you are at work because it will inevitably get you in trouble for not doing what you are supposed to.  That is, if you or Sam ever get off your asses and get a job to help support your fancy-schmancy dog food requirements.  

A Word About Mothers...Mine In Particular

In honor of her birthday, I thought I’d pen a little tribute to the lady who is my Mother. Whenever I think of my mom in song, I always think of that song “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan.  I’m pretty sure he wrote that song about her. 

 “May you grow up to be righteous

 May you grow up to be true

 May you always know the truth

May you see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous

 May you stand upright and be strong

 May you stay forever young…”

My Mama is a free spirit and a joyful heart.  She dances in church, says stuff that she shouldn’t, and laughs at everything.  She is frequently irreverent.  She pretty much does or says whatever she feels in the moment…she’s about the most genuine and sincere person most of us will ever know.  And it’s a little funny when this quality gets her in trouble. 

She’s also passionate and feisty.  Woe be unto you if you hurt someone she loves.  She’s a champion of the underprivileged, the underappreciated.  She is in her element serving others…whether she’s feeding them, inviting them into her home or greeting them with a warm hug and a smile, she has the skill of making people feel at ease.  

She loves music, it speaks to her soul and it flows through every move she makes.  She laughs at people when they get hurt, which is a terrible, terrible reaction that she has passed onto her kids.  To this very day, my immediate reaction when someone trips is to laugh hysterically.  I don’t know why this is, but the reaction is automatic and I have to fight VERY HARD to keep myself in check.  

My cousins and I often muse about our mothers and how they are the definition of the word “survivor”.  It’s pretty mind-boggling to consider the early lives of my mom and her siblings.  I’ll never fully understand how those ladies turned out to be such strong, courageous, wise, loving people.  I have a very deep sense of pride in who my mom is for all that she’s been through.  

People know her as teacher, wife, friend and sister…but I, along with my siblings, are lucky enough to know her as Marmee, Mama, and MoTHER (emphasis is key here).  She’s taught us to be independent, creative, to figure things out on our own, to work hard and be kind, genuine people.  She taught us about accepting ourselves and others for exactly the people that they are in that moment.  She taught us that nothing is too much for the ones you love.

For those of you who were not lucky enough to have been endowed with Sara L. Willard’s motherly wisdom, I feel compelled to share a few of her gems with you: 

•  Never run over a plastic bag in the road because it could contain something awful, like a corpse.  (I KNOW.  This is so awful, which is probably why it sticks in my head.)

• Smashed ants smell like bleu cheese (this is actually 100% true).

•  Pull over on the side of the road immediately if you start blinking slowly, a sure indicator that you are about to fall asleep at the wheel

• It’s totally possible to catch a bird in the back yard using a stick, string and a cardboard box (NOTE:  This was an ingenious way to occupy us for hours at a time when we were kids)

•  If you are playing Hide-and-Seek with her, under no circumstances should you fall for the trick of going to hide first.  She has a faulty memory when it comes to remembering to LOOK for you. 
•  “Pipe juice” is actually just plain old water. 

• Few subjects are off limits, I’ll spare you the details.  I’ll just say that we are a very open family, a fact that may have backfired on my mom in particular a little later in life.  She might wish that her kids were just a tiny bit less open than we are now!

My childhood wasn’t luxurious or excessive.  It wasn’t perfect.  My parents worked hard to provide us with everything we needed.  Looking back, I have very happy, content memories of my childhood.  I remember flying kites, playing outside, and spending long, simple, happy days together.  We grew up with love and security and a real sense of what life is really all about.  My parents gave us a strong foundation, their love and wisdom holds us strong when the winds of change may blow.  For that, I’ll always be grateful.

So here’s to you, the best and prettiest Mama in the land.  Bob said it best when he said “May your heart always be joyful, may your song always be sung…and may you stay Forever Young”.