I Have a One-Track Mind.

I'm kind of relentless.  It's one of my less awesome qualities.  I'm sure it annoys my husband to death.  

I love, love, LOVE new cars.  A year or two in a car and I'm already scheming ways to invent a "need" for a new one.  Lease programs were created for people just like me.  Who in the hell cares if you have any equity in the car when it's time to trade it back in?  Not me!  As soon as the free oil changes expire, I'm over it and ready for the next best thing.  I know.  Dave Ramsay shakes his head at me.  I blame my Grandpa for this trait, along with my stubborn streak.

My husband, on the other hand, is exactly the opposite.  He loves his cars as much as he loves me and our dogs.  He loves them and babies them and takes care of them to the point of obsession.  When something breaks, he fixes it.  He will drive a car into the ground, and then keep it in the garage because he's going to fix it up later. 

Recently, my car, which I've had FOREVER (like, 5 years) started acting weird.  Gordon swears it's probably a simple fix.  But I'm way ahead of him.  Yesterday, I "surprised" him by doing a little car shopping.  I'm sure he rolled his eyes when I called him to tell him that I was at a dealership with a very nice car sales person and they had already found the perfect car in the right color with a sunroof and some type of engine that would drive fast.  Also, it has a camera on the back to help me avoid backing into things.  What more could a girl want?  By the way, I'm pretty much any car salesperson's dream.  The concept of a poker-face completely escapes me.  I literally jumped up and down when he showed me the auxiliary plug where I can connect my iPod Shuffle to the stereo!

Bless his patient heart, Gordon went along with it.  No, he did not drop everything and come to the dealership immediately so that I could arrange financing and DRIVE IT OFF THE LOT TODAY as I wanted him to do.  But he did promise that he would come with me to look at it.  Yippee!  I'm so excited that I can hardly concentrate!  Maybe I should just take a quick break from work to drive over and look at the car, just to make sure it's still there...
 

Holy Hannah. Has It Been This Long??

I didn't realize how much I missed blogging and how therapeutic it can be.  My thoughts have been churning for days now and in an attempt to pull my head together, I started writing.  I love that feeling...it's like running a comb through tangled hair.  It feels so much better to work through things and put those thoughts back in their place.  Fair warning:  this blog continues to be my outlet, as it always has, so I'm pretty honest and revealing in my musings.  In most ways, this blog is my diary so be prepared to hear my real life thoughts and feelings.

In my old age, I'm compiling an eclectic list of  Life Lessons.  I mean, I'm approximately 1/3 of the way through life, so I should probably have something to show for it.  As you know, I don't have a kid to impart this wisdom to, so I'm forced to tailor my wisdom to the only female whose life I currently mold, my black lab Lucille O'Neil.  So Lala, here is Mama's advice to you for life in the Big World:

1.  No one is ever going to be everything you want them to be, do everything you want them to do, or act exactly the way you want them to act.  Stop trying to make them do so.  They will do what they will do.  So just let them.  Fact of the matter is, it’s your own mental health that you are sacrificing when you try.   
2. Keep loving with your entire being.  While it’s true that not everyone will adore you back, the ones who love you back with their entire beings are the ones who will stick around.  The ones who don’t will eventually filter themselves out of your life, if you let them.  By the way, LET THEM.  So keep begging for pets, keep jumping on the bed to snuggle when you aren’t really supposed to.  It sometimes makes me mad, but in the end, it’s hard to be mad at you when you are just loving your people.
3.  Nobody is ever going to care as much as you do.  They care about their own stuff.  You care about yours.  You’ll never care about their stuff as much as they do.  They’ll never care about your stuff as much as you do.  This isn’t a bad thing.  This just human nature.  You don’t have to be happy about it or like it, but you should probably accept it.  Because again, it’s your own mental health that you are sacrificing when you try.
4. Pink really is your best color, it looks so bright and vivid against your fur.  Keep that in mind in case anyone else ever buys your collars for you. 
5. Guilt is a terrible, ugly, destructive thing.  Excise it from your thoughts on a moment-by-moment basis.  That isn’t to say that you should excise your conscience.  Do your best to be the best person you can.  When you fall short, apologize and do better.  But don’t allow yourself to dwell.  Make it right the best you can and move on.  That is all. 
6. Never, ever allow anyone to control you by exploiting your guilt.  Note the verb there.  ALLOW.  No one can make you feel anything.  You choose your feelings on your own.  So don’t allow it. 
7. Keep being able to run faster than Sam and catch squirrels better than he can.  You’re strong and fast and the neighborhood’s best hunter.  Sam has his own talents, but he can’t hold a candle to you in these departments.  It’s good for him to realize that on occasion. 
8. Buy all of the collars in all of the different styles that you want and can afford (if you ever figure out how to shop online).  Under no circumstances should you jeopardize your financial well-being by spending money (see below), but if you can safely afford to buy the collar with the sparkles on it, but the GD collar.  Every woman deserves the little bump in confidence that comes from wearing something that she loves. 
9. This point should really come before point #8, but it’s not as fun so it didn’t spring to mind.  Get your financial ducks in a row.  The best bump in confidence of all comes from the feeling of being smart and responsible and being 100% capable of taking care of yourself.  That kind of confidence is better than all the collars that money can buy. 
10. Get to know yourself.  Be honest with yourself.  That way, you’ll be able to make the right decisions about what you want and what makes you happy.  Make those decisions and stick by them and tell the doubters and questioners that their two options are to get On-board or get Off-board.  You can’t halfway ride the train.
11. Feel free to change your mind.  Item #10 is totally true.  Make your decisions and stick with them.  But this life is full of twists and turns and you have every GD right in the world to change your mind when the road changes directions.  You are the Supreme Ruler of Your Life, be the dictator. 
12. Don’t abuse your right to be a bitch.  Yes, you are biologically a bitch.  But it’s also your right to ACT like a bitch: be blunt and honest and unafraid.  But the point is, don’t abuse the right.  It’s much less effective if you over-use it.  So pick your battles.  And when you decide it’s appropriate, do it with gusto. 
13.  Make it your mission to act with fairness.  If that means that you need time to evaluate your opinion or your next move, take the time that you need.  Think carefully.  A reputation for fairness is worth far more than a reputation for being nice, for being aggressive or for being decisive. 
14. Above all else, do not ever, ever, ever betray yourself by failing to stand up and say what you need.  You will wait a long, long, long time if you stand around waiting for someone else to read your mind and give you what you need.  And chances are, they’ll get it wrong anyway because they do not reside in your mind.  So advocate for yourself and speak up.    
15. And finally, Lollipop, never, ever get in the habit of blogging while you are at work because it will inevitably get you in trouble for not doing what you are supposed to.  That is, if you or Sam ever get off your asses and get a job to help support your fancy-schmancy dog food requirements.