It's Spring!

Today is March 13. We are right on the verge of one of my two very favorite times of the year. Spring. I should note, however, that it is only Spring in my kitchen. The sun is bright. The air smells clean and fresh (because someone loaded the dishwasher.) I'm inspired to wear a sundress...well, that might be getting a little carried away.

I must not deceive myself...it is NOT Spring outside, not yet. The sun is up to some trickery...it looks warm and inviting, but you would find a rude awakening if you were to walk outside into my backyard. It's only about 40 degrees, and there is no fresh, clean feeling back there. No. In fact, the only thing you would find in my backyard today is four months worth of stolen undergarments (courtesy of Sampson O'Neil), a few stolen gardening gloves (once again, courtesy of Sampson O'Neil), a lot of mud and a terrible smell (as always, courtesy of Sampson O'Neil and his sister Lucille). I've already lodged two complaints with the Backyard Fairy's supervisor, but to no avail. The backyard remains a disgusting, smelly, completely un-Spring-y mess.

So I'll just enjoy the sun from the kitchen, and by no means will I be venturing to the backyard until that lazy Fairy gets her stuff together.

I am a third generation Adventist. I have been an Adventist since long before I knew what an Adventist was. I was Dedicated in an Adventist Church when I was a tiny, tiny baby. I was baptized in an Adventist Church. I was married in an Adventist Church and my husband later became an Adventist. Further back from all of that, my parents and grandparents shared a similar legacy. Being a Seventh-Day Adventist is as much a part of me as the blood in my veins and the blue in my eyes.

My relationship with Adventism is complex at best. I have been disappointed by Adventism many times. But I have always been able to separate Adventists from Adventism. I have long understood that humans are an imperfect representation of the love of God. I can accept that people make mistakes. But I've always held strong to the foundations of Adventism. I believed that we based our Christianity on the idea of Salvation by Grace. I believe, in the very core of my being, that we are saved for one reason, and one reason only. We are saved because of the Gift that God offered us when he allowed His Son to be sacrificed on the Cross. Like most other religions, Adventism has experienced growing pains as we struggle to adapt to a changing world. While there were things that I disagreed with in our doctrines, I have always felt that my core Christian beliefs matched those of the Adventist Church.

But today I find myself at a crossroads in my life. In recent weeks, I have been forced to take a good, long, hard look at Adventism and I find myself with many reservations. I am no longer certain that my core Christian values match that of Adventism. I feel a little like someone who has been on a long trip, only to find that my compass has been pointed in the complete wrong direction. I find myself wondering where to go from here...can I continue to call myself an Adventist when I no longer share any of the same beliefs? It's my home, it's my history, it's been so much a part of me. But now all of that seems to be called into question. So I'm at a loss. I am somewhat adrift, like one of the anchors of my life has come loose.